


The Adventures Of Dean Winchester & Friends

by Trickster88



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Supernatural, Superwho - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Het and Slash, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-22
Updated: 2012-04-22
Packaged: 2017-11-04 03:26:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/389222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trickster88/pseuds/Trickster88
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An alien, an angel, and two hunters walk into a parallel universe...oh bother, I seem to have forgotten the punchline.</p><p>Meanwhile, a deal is made. The world is in peril, and Chuck is drinking. Just the usual.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. April 21st, 1967

**Author's Note:**

> **Notes:** AU fic branching off right after _Two Minutes To Midnight_ in Supernatural Season 5. The spring of 2010 for the RPF world before filming has begun for Season 6 of _Supernatural_ while Season 6 of _Doctor Who_ is on the season break between _A Good Man Goes To War_ and _Let's Kill Hitler_ (the season break was not in 2010, but that is my timeline.) Right after _A Good Man Goes To War_ in Doctor Who.  
>  **Note 2:** This is basically a Superwho AU of Season 6 of Doctor Who and Season 5 of Supernatural. There are also several crack elements to this story.
> 
>  
> 
> **AN: This fic was written for[superwho_bb](http://superwho_bb.livejournal.com). Wow, this was a lot of fun. I'd like to thank my amazing beta, [10daysorless](http://10daysorless.livejournal.com), for encouraging me and catching my mistakes. (: Thank you to [big_banggang](http://big_banggang.livejournal.com) for running the comm, and thank you to slowsunrise for creating absolutely beautiful art for this story! (:**
> 
>  
> 
> **You can find the Enochian translations at the end of the story. I used[this translator](http://tikaboo.com/enochian.jsp), this [fantastic _Supernatural_ website](http://www.supernaturalwiki.com/index.php?title=Supernatural_Wiki), and [jpgr](http://jpgr.livejournal.com)'s _Doctor Who_ transcripts to research my story.**
> 
>  
> 
> **Well, I've certainly enjoyed the ride on this one! Thank all of you for reading and making my first big bang a great one. I hope you enjoy it!**
> 
> [ART](http://slowsunrise.livejournal.com/64419.html)  
>  By [slowsunrise](http://slowsunrise.livejournal.com)  
> [FANMIX](http://slowsunrise.livejournal.com/64529.html)  
> By [slowsunrise](http://slowsunrise.livejournal.com)  
> 

[ART](http://slowsunrise.livejournal.com/64419.html)  


By [slowsunrise](http://slowsunrise.livejournal.com)

  


 

  


[FANMIX](http://slowsunrise.livejournal.com/64529.html)

By [slowsunrise](http://slowsunrise.livejournal.com)

 

***

 

" _On April 21st, 1967, the 100 millionth GM vehicle rolled off the line at the plant in Janesville - a blue, two-door caprice._

_There was a big ceremony, speeches. The lieutenant governor even showed up. Three days later, another car rolled off that same line. No one gave two craps about her._

_But they should have, because that 1967 Chevrolet Impala would turn out to be one of the most important objects in the whole universe._ " Chuck Shurley cleared his throat, cracking his knuckles.

 

" _There's another object that needs to be mentioned as well. Few have ever laid eyes on it, and even fewer have ever had the honor to see inside of it. It's big and it's little, brand new and ancient, and the bluest blue in the entire universe._

_Sometimes it's in a cupboard, sometimes it's on a street corner - you never really know where it's going to turn up. But it's always there, and the day it isn't, the world is going to be a very dark place._

_This object, this Type 40 TARDIS, was grown on another planet. That planet's name was Gallifrey._

_One day, a young Gallifreyan ran off with this TARDIS. Or maybe the TARDIS ran off with him. It's hard to tell._ " The prophet paused, picking up a glass of whiskey. He took a sip, thinking about his next sentence.

 

" _But I can tell you this: they’ve been running ever since._ "

 

  


 

"We have a proposition for you." The woman sat back in the leather chair, a grim twist playing on the edges of her lips. A young man sat across from her, tracing the edge of the table with his forefinger.

 

"What kind of proposition?" His question was quiet, and it sounded as though the cold, calculating voice did not belong to the mouth it was emitting from. In fact, it didn't.

 

"We have access to the timelines, and other dimensions. We've seen your cause and we know what you need. That's why we've brought you here. We can get you what you need." The woman leaned forward, exposing her face in the small pool of light focused on the table. "If you help us in return."

 

"What would this...' _help_ ' entail?" The boy asked coldly, eyes flickering upwards to meet the woman's. Her smile grew, evidently seeing victory in the fact that he had decided to hear her out.

 

"Your world is coming towards an apocalypse. So is ours. Wouldn't it be a lot easier to work together? We're on the same _side_." Her voice purred temptingly, grin turning sly, and the young man nodded thoughtfully.

 

"You need the Winchesters. I can get them for you." The boy stared at her, contemplating how she knew this piece of information. For a human, she certainly had her connections.

 

"And what do you want in return?" He questioned, eyes searching her face inquisitively. Her smile thinned out into a tight line.

 

"I need you to kill a man. He goes by 'the Doctor'." They sat in silence for a moment before the young man stuck out his hand. Another sinister grin broke out across the woman's face as she accepted it.

 

"Deal." The woman's head dipped forward and her metal eye patch glinted dangerously in the light.

 

"Deal."

 

  


 

Dean Winchester sprinted down the dark corridor as fast as his legs would carry him. He ducked down an intersecting hallway, feet hitting the ground at a near-frantic pace.

 

"Dean!" Sam's voice was muffled, but he was close. Dean skidded around a corner, banging his left shoulder against the wall.

 

"Sam!" Dean called out, drawing a knife from his belt. "Sam, dammit!"

 

The only thing Dean received back was silence. Cursing, he stalked down the hallway, alert. An echoing scream made him jump, and then he was off again.

 

"Sam!" Dean kicked open a door at the end of the hall, brandishing the knife before him. His brother was on his back on the ground, grappling with a demon.

 

Dean raised the knife, preparing to lunge into the fight and rescue his brother, when Castiel appeared an inch from his face.

 

"MOVE DAMMIT!" Dean shouted, faltering with the knife. Sam yelled again, but Castiel simply blinked at him, looking utterly perplexed.

 

A blue haze surrounded them, obscuring Sam from view. Dean felt his limbs freeze momentarily as sound was sucked out of his ears and the world stopped. It was an altogether bizarre sensation, but as soon as it began, it ended.

 

And as soon as it ended, they were no longer in the same place.

 

"Cas! Where the hell are we?" Dean demanded, moving towards his brother. Sam sat up, unharmed, save for a superficial gash on his cheek.

 

"I...do not know." The angel swayed, and the brothers straightened up from their crouch.

 

"Cas?" Dean asked warily. "You okay?"

 

The room they had been transported to was colorful, mainly yellow and orange. A large, green pillar rose from a collection of oddities mounted on a console in the middle of the metal bridgework they were currently occupying. The metal clanged loudly when they moved, echoing around the huge, bright, empty room.

 

The room hummed with an energy that made the hairs on Dean's arms stand up. He took a step towards Castiel, reaching for the angel's arm. "Cas?"

 

"I'm going to make a sigil." Sam said, dipping a finger in the blood running down his cheek. Dean hesitated before tugging on Castiel's arm.

 

"Cas, c'mon buddy you're scaring me. Cas. _Cas!_ " Castiel swayed again, this time falling forwards. Dean caught him and supported the angel.

 

"I just need to..." Castiel's head drooped as he fell asleep. Dean looked up to Sam for advisement.

 

"-not just _any_ marshmallow! It's a purple, _pygmy_ -shaped marshmallow!"

 

"What's a pygmy shaped like?"

 

"I think he just likes to say 'pygmy'."

 

Voices echoed clearly around the room, and the brothers frantically looked for somewhere to hide.

 

"Is it like a rat-thing?"

 

"No it is not a _rat-thing_! Its-"

 

"Doctor." The three voices had entered the control room, and Dean held his breath. They had slipped below the metal bridge, Castiel over Dean's shoulder in a fireman-carry.

 

Sam could see three pairs of feet above them, padding across the metal a lot quieter than they had. A pair of red sneakers stood directly above him, and as Sam tried to make out faces, he received a rather unbridled view up a short, black skirt.

 

He quickly looked down, making eye contact with his brother. Dean was busy eyeing Castiel's ass somewhat oddly.

 

Sam jumped as a head popped down from the bridgework behind Dean.

 

"Stowaways! That's new. Never had stowaways before. I'm the Doctor, and I have a question." The shaggy, smiling head suddenly glared at them.

 

"What the HELL did you do to my console?!"

 

  


 

"I am going to need a new vessel. This one is falling apart." The boy followed the woman down the dark, metal hallway. No one else was in sight - they had all been sent away in preparation for the meeting.

 

"I've got the perfect solution." She eyed the boy smugly, striding confidently towards a door. It was the only door in the hallway. The metal slid open silently, and they stepped into the bright room.

 

It would have appeared to be a normal, perfectly average nursery, if not for the fact that the room hummed with hidden machinery and seemed too bright, too sterile. Toys littered the ground - a bunk bed was pushed against the far wall, clean blue sheets tucked tightly.

 

A young, blond-haired girl sat in the middle of the room, surrounded by crayons. Her brow furrowed as she focused intensely on the paper before her, coloring furiously.

 

"Melody," The woman called as the door slid closed behind them. "You have a visitor."

 

  


 

"We, uh, we don't mean any harm." Sam said, edging out from under the bridge with Dean. The Doctor raised an eyebrow, leaning on the bridge with his palms resting on the guardrail.

 

"Then why do you have a knife?" Sam and Dean exchanged a look, spotting Dean's knife at the Doctor's feet on the bridge above them. A red-haired woman and a man with a rather-large nose stood a few paces behind the Doctor, eyeing them warily.

 

"It's a long story," Sam began. The Doctor smiled, somewhat welcoming, somewhat warning.

 

"We've got all the time in the universe." Dean shook his head.

 

"You wouldn't believe us, bucko." The Doctor stared at him for a moment before clanging down the stairs and swiftly approaching two double wooden doors. He faced the brothers, a hand resting on the locked latch.

 

With a flourish, he opened the doors to reveal a large, starry expanse of space. It was terrifying, gorgeous, and one of the most impossible things the Winchesters had ever seen.

 

"We've been out here for three days, floating in a section of the cosmos that is uninhabited for several thousand light-years in any direction. You've appeared on a spaceship in the middle of nowhere - try me." The Doctor grinned cheekily, and the brothers' eyes widened comically.

 

"My name is Sam Winchester; this is my brother, Dean. We're hunters." Sam answered, still processing the fact that they were _in space_. The Doctor closed the door after a lingering moment, eyes glinting as he observed them cautiously.

 

"Hence the knife." Dean added unconvincingly.

 

"And I suppose that's your catch?" The Doctor nodded to Castiel, who was drooling on Dean's leather jacket.

 

"No, that's Castiel. He's..." Sam exchanged a look with Dean, at a loss, and Dean shrugged.

 

"We're on a Goddamn spaceship Sam, fuck it. Cas is an angel. We're demon hunters, he helps us. Can I put the chubby cherub down now?" Dean slid Castiel off of his shoulder, muttering to himself as he bent down to straighten out the angel and check his vitals.

 

"Demon hunters? That's definitely new. Never met demon hunters before." The Doctor jerked an excited thumb towards the brothers and grinned back at his companions. "Demon hunters!"

 

"I met the devil once. It was a while back. He was in this sort of rock thing. Not a lot of words involved really, mostly just death and possessed Ood." The Doctor appeared unconcerned by his escapades, but the red-headed woman raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

 

"You've met _Satan_? And you didn't think to mention this before...?" The Doctor shrugged, hopping on to the bars of the bridgework and hanging himself from them by the knees. He let his arms flop down, swaying back and forth.

 

"I didn't think it was important. Just pure evil." The Doctor shot the brothers a goofy grin and flipped around, righting himself.

 

"An angel, eh? Well I suppose if Satan exists, so do angels. I've read about them, actually. I suppose I've read about everything. I suppose a lot, don't I? I suppose I should stop supposing, I've heard it's quite unhealthy. Did he bring you here?" The Doctor slowly moved forward as he spoke, preoccupying everyone with his fast-paced speech in order to kneel on the floor with Dean next to Castiel.

 

"We don't know. He usually only brings us to places he's been, or places he knows we have a job to do. You're sure you don't know Castiel?" Sam prodded, as the Doctor reached out to touch Castiel's arm. Dean watched him, wary.

 

"I don't know him. Does he normally pass out when he brings you somewhere?" The Doctor raised Castiel's arm straight him into the air curiously, watching how lifeless it was, before poking his cheek.

 

"No, he doesn't." Sam answered as Dean slapped at the Doctor's hand and interrupted the conversation.

 

"Would you stop poking him? He's not a fucking toy." The Doctor sank back onto his calves, staring at Dean as he bent protectively over Castiel's lifeless form.

 

"I just want to help. I'm not interested in dissecting him or anything." The Doctor smiled cleverly. "Trust me, I'm the Doctor."

 

Dean looked at him for a moment before leaning back, giving his permission for the Doctor to continue his examination.

 

The Doctor didn't bother mentioning that he wasn't, in fact, an actual _doctor_ \- he had said he was _the_ Doctor, not _a_ doctor.

 

He gestured towards the angel with a flourish. "This isn't his real form, is it? Something more powerful lurks inside. But he's not powerful enough to bring you here." The Doctor paused, bending forward to sniff Castiel. "Definitely not powerful enough to break through a dimension wall. I closed the parallels and the horizontals and all of that jazz a while back - you shouldn't be here."

 

"Well we are. So if it wasn't us, and it wasn't you, who the fuck was it?" Dean questioned gruffly. The Doctor shook his head, taking Castiel's arm again.

 

"I don't know. Whoever they are, they broke a dimension wall, broke through _TARDIS force fields_ , as if a dimension wall wasn't tough enough, and incapacitated a powerful angel. They must be astoundingly powerful - and something tells me they aren't very friendly..." The Doctor trailed off, checking Castiel's pulse.

 

"I'm Amy Pond; this is my husband Rory." The red-haired woman spoke up, descending from the bridgework. "Since we don't seem to get a proper introduction anymore."

 

"Oi! I'm a bit busy, sick angel and broken dimensions and all!" The Doctor protested briefly before returning his attention to Castiel.

 

"What did you draw there?" Rory asked Sam, sounding slightly unnerved as he pointed to the seal on the green glass pillar.

 

"It's a sigil; it keeps angels and demons away." Sam answered, and Rory was about to continue his line of questioning when the Doctor picked up Castiel's hand and brought it to his lips.

 

"Why are you examining my extremities with your tongue?" The Doctor froze, tongue midway through licking the back of Castiel's hand.

 

"Just a trick I picked up. Hello." The Doctor pulled back, releasing Castiel and looking towards the others. "That's a bit awkward, isn't it?"

 

Amy, Rory, and Sam held back fits of laughter while Dean muttered grumpily.

 

Suddenly, the TARDIS began to shake and everyone was flung to the ground. Amy screamed, the world flipped, and everything went blue.

 

  


 

"Where the hell is he?" Jensen Ackles growled, tapping his forefinger impatiently against a Styrofoam coffee cup. Jared Padalecki laughed, rolling a magazine back and forth in his hands.

 

"This whole thing was his fucking idea, and he can't be on time?" Jensen took an angry sip of his coffee, choked, and simply made the whole thing even more hilarious for Jared.

 

"Dude, chill. This is supposed to be a vacation! Gum?" Jensen rolled his eyes and snorted, accepting the gum from Jared.

 

"Sorry I'm late!" Misha Collins hurried towards them, and the two actors gaped. Misha was decked out in khaki shorts; an overly-large British flag t-shirt, sandals, a visor, and matching British flag sunglasses. A bulky camera hung from a strap on his neck and-

 

"Is he wearing a fanny pack? Is he wearing a _fanny pack_?" Jensen turned to Jared in disbelief, and Jared ducked his head, shaking with laughter.

 

Misha simply bounced forward, grinning. Jensen muttered a few expletives as Jared struggled to maintain his composure.

 

"You guys ready for the best vacation you've ever had?" Misha swept them out the hotel door, out into the streets of London.

 

" _A boys' weekend, it'll be fun!_ " Jensen muttered darkly to Jared, trailing behind Misha as the actor forged ahead, snapping pictures and making ridiculous expressions of excitement. "I didn't think we were going the candy-ass tourist route."

 

"Guys, look!" Misha was flailing now, and Jensen shot Jared a pointed glance.

 

"It's a telephone box, Misha." Jensen sighed, wondering how early the hotel bar opened.

 

"Yeah, it's just like that one in that Sci-Fi show, _Doctor Who_! C'mon, we've got to get a picture!" Misha fumbled with his camera, waving Jared and Jensen into position. They stood next to the box awkwardly as Misha snapped a few pictures.

 

"Can we go back to the hotel now?" Jensen asked, pulling the gum from his mouth and sticking it to the side of the box.

 

"GYUAH!" Jensen shouted incoherently, jumping back as an unexpected substance hit him square in the forehead. The Doctor stood halfway in the blue box, halfway out, pointing a can of silly string at the actor. He did not look amused.

 

"What is it with you two and defacing my TARDIS? First the blood, now this? Do you know how hard it is to get blood out of a TARDIS console?! Very hard! Very!" Another stream of silly string caught Jared in the shoulder.

 

"And gum! On the outside of the TARDIS! Do you have any idea what that stuff turns into when it goes through the time vortex?!" The Doctor's voice kept getting higher and higher with each agitated word, and he stepped all the way out of his box.

 

"HOLY mother of GOD!" Jensen shouted, wiping silly string from his face. Dean and Sam had stepped out of the box behind the Doctor, looking rumpled.

 

"Hey Doc, not a lot of space in tha - WHAT THE FUCK." Dean froze, staring at Jensen.

 

"Vandals! Hooligans! RAGAMUFFINS!" The Doctor lamented, spraying Sam and Dean as well. They spluttered, utterly bewildered.

 

"Where the fuck did you even get that?" Dean demanded angrily, tossing the silly string that had hit him onto the ground. He gestured to Jensen and Jared. "And what the fuck is this?"

 

"Pockets." The Doctor answered, discarding the silly string can into a trash bin with a well-placed flick of the wrist. "And it appears to be an alternate dimension. Hello! I'm the Doctor, this is Sam and Dean."

 

"Please tell me I'm hallucinating. God, _please_ tell me I'm hallucinating." Jensen moaned, wondering just how far he had fallen off the crazy cliff. This damn job had finally caught up to him.

 

"...We know. I'm Jared; this is Jensen, and Misha." Jared said slowly, still trying to process the fact that his character had just come out of a big blue box in the middle of London.

 

It was at this point that Dean noticed Misha.

 

" _Misha?_ Your name is _Misha_?" Misha nodded wordlessly, snapping a picture of Dean accidently in his shock. Dean laughed loudly, nudging Sam with his elbow.

 

"Dude, his name is _Misha_. Cas! Your name is _Misha_. Congratulations, you're a fucking fruitcake!" Dean paused, waiting for Castiel's response, before turning around to look inside the box. "Cas?"

 

"Hey!" Dean flipped back around as Misha unfroze. He looked indignant. "I am not a fruitcake!"

 

Misha's voice cracked on 'fruitcake', and Dean shared a look with Sam.

 

"Fruitcake." The brothers agreed simultaneously, and Misha glared at them.

 

"I am _not_ a _fruitcake_..." He muttered to himself, and Jared reached out to give him a sympathetic pat on the back. Jensen and Dean gave him an identical funny look.

 

"He looked like he needed the support. And that's freaky, guys." Jared defended.

 

"What the hell is up with your voice?" Dean asked, peering warily at Misha. Could they be shape-shifters, or some type of demon?

 

"I assume you mean you want me to _talk like his_." Misha dropped his voice into Castiel's haunting, gravelly tone, smoothing over his expression. Dean seemed disconcerted when Misha dropped the act, emotion returning to his face.

 

"This is impossible." Jensen declared, leaning against the TARDIS. "What the _hell_ did you two slip into my drink?"

 

"Oh, this is very possible. Highly unlikely and dangerously wrong, yes, but not impossible." The Doctor opened the TARDIS door and stepped inside. "Let me just take a few readings, find out where we-"

 

He stepped inside the box and immediately stepped back out, frowning.

 

"Small problem." Sam raised an eyebrow.

 

"How small?" The Doctor closed the door and locked it, biting his lip.

 

"My TARDIS isn't a TARDIS anymore. It's a box. I'm a mad man with a box, with a plain old _box_." The Doctor deflated, incredibly disappointed by this new development.

 

"Well where's Cas and the cute red-head? He was weak, he can't defend himself..." Dean trailed off, a grim set to his mouth.

 

"We'll find them, I promise." The Doctor clapped Dean on the shoulder before clapping Jared as well. "But in the meantime, how about a cup of tea?"

 

"More like a very strong brandy." Jensen grumbled.

 

  


 

Amy woke up surrounded by darkness. The ground was cold, and it hummed gently. She ran her fingers across it, tracing grooves and divots, and determined it to be some sort of metal.

 

"Hello?" She whispered, unable to see anything in the inky blackness. She dragged her hand around slowly, crawling forwards until she touched cloth.

 

"Rory?" She hissed, shaking the limb she had grabbed. The body was still for a minute before shifting, sitting up to face her, and she felt something barely a hairsbreadth away from her face.

 

"Hello?" The deep voice caught her off guard, and Amy gasped.

 

"Castiel!" She could feel him _right there_ , but she couldn't see a thing.

 

"How do you know my name?" His voice held no emotion, surprise, fear, or otherwise, and it was slightly unnerving.

 

"Sam and Dean told me. I'm Amy." Castiel's stare burned her even though she couldn't see him.

 

"You are not a hunter. Why would they tell you?" Amy leaned back, shying away from Castiel to try and maintain a comfortable distance.

 

"The three of you appeared on the Doctor's spaceship." The evasion failed as Castiel simply followed her.

 

"Who is this 'Doctor'? I do not require a physician." Amy scooted back further, a feeling of unease rising in her stomach.

 

"He's my friend." Castiel nodded. They were too close for comfort - she could feel his nod move air around her face.

 

"He licked me-" Castiel was cut off by a loud hiss.

 

"Amy?" It echoed from their right, and the two turned towards the source of the question.

 

"Rory! We're over here!" Amy called back. She could hear him shuffling around, trying to locate them, and wondered how large the space was.

 

"I can't see anything." Rory called, and Castiel raised his hands.

 

Bright, white light emitted from his palms as he held them towards the ceiling. This revealed the space to be cavernous, as the light illuminated the room and large metal storage containers cast thick, dark shadows against the walls.

 

"Neat trick." Rory commented, standing up and walking towards a shadowy door in the wall. He tried to open it, but it wouldn't budge. "It's locked."

 

Castiel lowered his blinding hands, pointing them towards the floor and creating a pool of light to encompass the three.

 

"I am an angel of the lord." Castiel told Rory gravely, and they sat awkwardly for a moment.

 

"Could you move?" Amy burst out, reeling backwards. Castiel stared at her blankly for a moment before slowly sinking back onto his haunches.

 

"Sorry. Dean usually reminds me. I forget that humans prefer distance between other organisms. Angels have no conception of such space." Amy and Rory nodded, not entirely sure how to interact with Castiel.

 

"What happened?" Rory asked, taking Amy's hand. Castiel closes his eyes, as if fighting a headache.

 

"Someone transported me to Sam and Dean and brought us to your universe. They have separated us from Sam and Dean." He shook his head, opening his eyes. "The amount of power it takes to forcibly move an angel is possessed by very few beings."

 

"The Doctor said you had been brought through a dimension wall." Rory supplied.

 

"And the TARDIS' force fields." Amy added.

 

"This does not bode well." Castiel proclaimed.

 

The door in the wall opened.

 

  


 

"She is strong." Melody Pond stood in her nursery, speaking words with a voice that didn't belong to her. Madame Kovarian smiled wickedly, barely sparing a glance at the dead body at her feet.

 

Melody didn't seem to mind either - Adam Milligan's death was an unfortunate but necessary casualty of heavenly war.

 

If that was what it took, that was what it took.

 

"She's a Timelord. She will last much longer than an average human. Can you complete the time shift?" Madame Kovarian informed her. Melody clenched and unclenched her hands, examining the new body. She looked up at the leader of the Silence and nodded.

 

"Done. You will capture the Winchesters?" Madame Kovarian nodded confidently.

 

"They will never suspect our trap. We're a new element." Melody made eye contact with the older woman for a moment before vanishing.

 

A few seconds later, a message scrolled across her eye patch.

 

**PRISONERS DELIVERED IN SECTOR 42**

 

Madame Kovarian grinned again, turning on her heel to exit the nursery and leave the body of Adam Milligan without a second glance.

 

  


 

"So," The Doctor began, flopping onto Jared's bed. They had hauled the blue box back to the hotel at the Doctor's insistence, and the actors had flipped a coin to determine whose room they would dump it in. Jared had lost, and thus, the blue box was deposited in his room.

 

"It seems we have traveled to another dimension where your names are Jared and Jensen. Usually alternates have connections within themselves, or things that stay fundamentally the same. This could be something such as, names, but that doesn't seem to be the case here." The Doctor rolled onto his back, dangling his feet over the edge of the bed.

 

"Actually..." Jared hesitated, shooting a glance at Jensen and Misha. "We're actors. _Supernatural_ is a TV show and..."

 

"You're fictional characters. All of you." Jensen finished, nodding towards the Doctor. His face lit up like a child on Christmas morning as this information sunk in.

 

"Really? I have a TV show? That's brilliant!" Sam and Dean didn't appear as enthused.

 

"As if we didn't get enough damn publicity with Chuck. Lord Almighty!" Dean muttered, cursing under his breath.

 

"Yeah...Chuck...that was in the show too." Misha informed them. The Doctor interrupted, continuing his line of scientific thought.

 

"The amount of power needed for the time shift through two dimensions, incapacitation of a being as powerful as Castiel, and to break through TARDIS defenses is phenomenal. Whoever we're dealing with is strong." The Doctor reached into his jacket, procuring a small device.

 

"What's a TARDIS?" Jared asked. "And what is that?"

 

"Time And Relative Dimension In Space. It's my spaceship. That blue box there." The Doctor nodded to the now-useless TARDIS.

 

"This is my sonic screwdriver." He flipped the screwdriver around in his palm. "It can do just about anything. Except wood. And deadbolts. Which seem to be my enemies' choice of reinforcement most of the time..."

 

He shrugged off his musings, pointing the screwdriver at the TARDIS. He pressed the button, and the top of the screwdriver opened to reveal a plastic green light. The light lit up and a guttural buzzing noise warbled out of the device.

 

"My sonic!" The Doctor cried, releasing the button and pressing it again frantically. "It's plastic!"

 

"Those are in the gift shop downstairs." Misha said, extracting an identical toy screwdriver from his fanny pack. "I bought one for my son."

 

"Maybe since you're a fictional character, all of your stuff gets turned into a prop." Jared deduced. The Doctor glared at no one in particular.

 

"So I'm a mad man with a box, with a plain old _box_ , and my screwdriver is a piece of cheap _plastic?_ " He pressed the button angrily, and the light flickered once before dying.

 

"And it's OUT OF BATTERIES?!" The Doctor roared. Sam giggled and Dean punched him in the arm.

 

"So someone pulls us out of our dimensions and dumps us in this one. Why?" Sam tried to steer the conversation back on track before the Doctor spiraled into a sulk.

 

"I'm not sure." The Doctor answered, reluctant to move on from the loss of his screwdriver. He slipped it into his pocket, refocusing. "And they separated us from Amy, Rory, and Castiel."

 

"I'm gonna call Cas." Dean interrupted, screwing his eyes shut.

 

"Call him?" The Doctor asked curiously, cocking his head to the side as Dean began a prayer.

 

"Castiel responds to prayers. Especially Dean's - what with their _profound bond_ -" Sam snickered, watching as his brother turned a slight hint of red.

 

"Shut up." Sam grinned wickedly at the others, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

 

"Don't think I didn't see you staring at his ass earlier." Dean's eyes widened and Jensen shared a look with Misha.

 

"Dude, weird?" Jensen asked, turning to Misha.

 

"Yeah." Misha answered numbly, feeling his brain short-circuit at the thought.

 

"God, not in the Impala." Jared complained.

 

"Shut up!" Dean muttered again, blushing furiously. "...and for the record, I was _not_ staring at his ass."

 

"Were too." Sam shot back quietly as Dean began to pray.

 

"Dear Castiel, we pray to you wherever the hell your angelic ass may be...I've got your fruitcake doppelganger here-"

 

"I am NOT a FRUITCAKE!"

 

"-so if you can hear me Cas...Cas?" Dean paused, cracking open one eye to scan the room. No angel.

 

"He's not responding; he must be out of range or..." Dean refused to finish the thought.

 

"So what do we do?" Jared and Sam asked the Doctor simultaneously, before exchanging an identical look of surprise.

 

"That, is totally cool." The Doctor commented happily, while everyone else looked disconcerted. "But! First thing to do - search for whoever is behind this."

 

"What makes you think they're here?" Sam asked.

 

"Well, I know if I went to the trouble of punching through a couple of dimension walls, I'd have something important to do with whatever I'd brought through. Or, I'd at least stick around for a good gloat." The Doctor cracked his knuckles, prepared to get down to business.

 

"Where do we start looking? Our EMFs are garbage." Dean pulled out his EMF, tossing it carelessly onto the bed next to the Timelord.

 

"I've got a plan." The Doctor grinned devilishly.

 

"What sort of plan?" Sam asked warily.

 

"I've got a plan." The Doctor repeated ominously, and Dean sucked in an irritated breath.

 

"Yeah we got that part, Doc."

 

The Doctor ignored him. "I'm going to need three eggbeaters, a stick of butter, four Jammie Dodgers, seven rubber bands, a toy robot, and a cup of tea."

 

He looked round the room at five very confused, skeptical faces and shrugged. "I never said it was a very _good_ plan."

 

  


 

"Amy, Rory," Madame Kovarian smiled cruelly, bright red lips screaming danger. "How nice to see you again."

 

" _You._ " Amy gasped, features twisting in disgust.

 

"I thought we'd seen the last of you." Rory spat, tightening his grip on Amy's hand. They'd come to terms with the devastating truth - they wouldn't be getting Melody back. But they had no intention of forgiving the evil woman who had taken her from them.

 

"Disappointed?" Madame Kovarian laughed, and Amy flinched, natural instinct urging her to rip the elder woman limb from limb.

 

"What do you want from us? You've already taken our child!" Amy snarled.

 

Madame Kovarian laughed again. "All in good time, dear Amy."

 

"But who is this?" The woman asked, noticing Castiel for the first time.

 

"I am Castiel." He responded in a monotone, rising to face her. Amy and Rory followed suit.

 

"Wha-" Madame Kovarian began, but Castiel cut her off, bringing his hands up to blind her.

 

Amy and Rory ran past her, out into the bright hallway, and as Castiel began to follow, Madame Kovarian recovered, whipping out a gun and pressing it to his chest.

 

Castiel froze, staring at the woman, and then he was gone.

 

"An angel." Madame Kovarian breathed in surprise, holstering the gun in her belt. _He_ hadn't told her he was sending an _angel_ as well!

 

"He has to be on this ship somewhere." She muttered, booting up her eye patch.

 

"Alert. Prisoners have escaped in Sector 42. Capture them immediately." Madame Kovarian hurried angrily from the room after relaying the instructions around the ship via eye patch.

 

_I will not lose this war, Doctor..._

 

  


 

**AND NOW FOR A BRIEF INTERMISSION**

 

"Hey guys, I was going to order some room servi-THE HELL?!" Jared flicked on the light switch to Misha's room, entering without warning. Two naked, wide-eyed men stared back at him.

 

"Jensen! Misha!" Jared gaped, throwing the menu he had been holding onto the table violently. "How _could_ you?!"

 

"Think of Victoria! Danneel! I didn't even know you guys were _gay_!" Jared raged.

 

"Jared, uh, we're-" The door swung open again, and another pair of men entered the room.

 

"So then he-OH GOD." They froze, taking in the scene.

 

"...we're not Jensen and Misha." Dean coughed, disengaging himself from Castiel.

 

"...okay then...do you...want any room service...?" Jared asked awkwardly, slowly picking up the menu again.

 

"I'd like a cup of tea!" A muffled voice called, and everybody jumped as the Doctor army-crawled out from beneath the bed, sonic screwdriver in hand.

 

"Oh _hell_..." Dean muttered, cradling his head in his hands. Castiel merely blinked, hair sticking up in random directions.

 

"Two sugars and a Jammie Dodger please. You want anything?" The Doctor looked back under the bed and, slowly, Sam crawled out as well.

 

"...I'm good." Dean gaped at his brother, completely oblivious to the fact that he was still naked.

 

"How long were you under there?" Sam bit his lip, avoiding Dean's eyes.

 

"...long enough." Dean cursed under his breath, glaring at the ceiling to whatever entity might exist.

 

"What in the _hell_ were you two _doing_ down there?" Dean demanded. Sam raised an eyebrow, blushing furiously due to the insanity of the situation.

 

"I believe the question is, what _weren't_ you two doing up _there_?"

 

"We were not making hamburgers, we were not fighting demons, we were not watching TV-" Dean clapped a hand over Castiel's mouth, silencing the angel.

 

"Okay, I'm going to go boil my eyes now. Feel free to join me." Jensen declared before fleeing the hotel room. Jared quickly followed.

 

"So _not_ sleeping there." Misha mumbled quietly before following his co-stars. The Doctor stood up, dusting himself off before making his way over to the table.

 

"How about some biscuits?" The Doctor held up the menu excitedly, reading the back of it. "Anyone?"

 

**END OF INTERMISSION**

 


	2. What The Hell!

  


 

Melody Pond sat grumpily in the white spacesuit. The legs moved for her, propelling her along as Silence flanked the cocoon she was encased it.

 

"Why must I be trapped in this machine?" Melody inquired nastily, mouth twisting angrily. Madame Kovarian's voice echoed through the helmet speakers back at her.

 

" _This is the way the timeline has been set to proceed. It would have moved a lot swifter if you hadn't escaped!_ " Melody grumbled to herself at the reprimand, glaring through the helmet at the dark warehouse she was traveling through.

 

"What are we-" The spacesuit rounded a corner and the Silence vanished. Melody could see two figures on the ground in the darkness, and the suit continued forward.

 

The confrontation passed in a blur-shouts, Silence, a gunshot. Melody was forced to abandon the suit, but understood the purpose of maintaining the timeline.

 

She knew what she had to do. She knew who she had to kill.

 

  


 

"Nothing!" Dean proclaimed, bursting through the hotel room door. Sam, Jared, and Jensen followed closely behind. "Not a damn thing!"

 

Misha looked up, wide-eyed, and Dean's gaze inadvertently trailed up his body before he caught himself and spotted the project on the table before him.

 

"What the hell!" Misha was holding an impossibly-connected device consisting of three eggbeaters held together with rubber bands and toy robot springs. Jammie Dodgers had been jammed into the eggbeaters' centers, and the entire device was positively dripping in butter.

 

"Ca-Misha! What the fuck?" Dean moved forwards, but the Doctor popped out from the kitchenette and blocked his path, blowing cool air over a cup of steaming tea.

 

"You're back! Hello. Find anything peculiar?" The Doctor set the tea down on the table, seemingly unconcerned about the butter pooling on the table as it dripped down Misha's arms.

 

"You mean besides a marinating Misha? Nope." Dean retorted sarcastically as Jared peered curiously at the contraption.

 

"Cas...dripping in butter..." Sam whispered, nudging his brother. "It's like a _dream_ come _true_."

 

Dean swung at Sam and missed as he passed him by, plopping on the bed. Jensen joined him, flipping on the TV.

 

"What are you doing?" Jared asked. The Doctor hopped around Misha, prodding parts of the device.

 

"This will track dimensional energy." The Doctor informed them, holding up four dismembered limbs from a toy robot. "Hold that."

 

"Seriously?" Dean found himself with two legs from the robot, and watched skeptically as the Doctor attached the arms to either end of the eggbeater collage. He snatched the legs from Dean once the arms were secure and repeated the motion.

 

"Uh..." Misha half-squeaked, making a face at the mess in his hands. The Doctor shushed him, quickly picking up the tea.

 

Dean threw up his hands, frustrated by the lack of rationale and sanity. Jared stifled a laugh, and Dean smacked him.

 

"Hey!" Jared protested. A smile spread over Dean's face before he could catch it.

 

"Sorry, reflex."

 

"Jerk." Sam said, not even bothering to look over.

 

"When can I..." Misha tried again as the Doctor blew on the tea. He raised it above Misha's head as the actor tried to follow it with his eyes, crouching behind his chair before carefully lowering his arms around Misha to balance the tea over the buttery mess.

 

"Jealous?" Jared prodded quietly to Dean, and the Winchester glared at him.

 

"You know what, I take my apology back. You look like Sam, you talk like Sam, and you're a bitch, just like Sam." Dean smiled tightly as he insulted Jared, who was attempting to avoid cracking up.

 

Sam raised his arm, middle finger stretched towards the ceiling, without looking up from the TV he was watching with Jensen.

 

"Don't. Move." The Doctor said slowly, gently tipping the tea onto the eggbeaters. Misha looked nervous, unsure of what was supposed to happen.

 

The tea hissed upon contact with the butter and Jammie Dodgers, and as the tea flowed steadily down Misha's arms to the table, the conjoined eggbeaters and rubber bands began to glow white.

 

"Whoa, whoa..." Misha squeaked nervously.

 

"Calm down, it's time energy. I'm full of the stuff. The butter is a good conductor for it." The Doctor released Misha, moving around the table to adjust a few wires dangling from the robot limbs.

 

"...time energy..." Misha repeated to himself, and he found himself engrossed in the Doctor's actions with Jared and Dean.

 

"How does it work?" Jared asked, awed.

 

"I feed the time energy into the machine via the tea. The butter amplifies it and the bits here," He gestured to different, unidentifiable areas of the jumble in Misha's hands. "Translate that energy into a tracking device."

 

"...and I have to hold it because...?" Misha questioned. The Doctor finally looked up from his work, grinning.

 

"Whoever we're looking for is going to have _massive_ amounts of time energy in or around them. Not too challenging to spot, really. But we're covered in time energy from smashing through dimension walls, so someone from this dimension without any energy has to hold it or it won't work properly." The Doctor clapped Misha happily on the back.

 

"Butter?" Dean repeated, after a moment. " _Butter?_ "

 

"Shh!" Sam interrupted loudly, glued to the TV. Dean rolled his eyes, walking towards the bed.

 

"Okay, what is so Goddamn interesting that you can-" Dean cut off, watching as Castiel sat at a table with him, nursing a beer.

 

_"This place is a den of iniquity - I shouldn't be here."_

_"Dude, you full on rebelled against heaven. Iniquity is one of the perks."_

 

"You took Cas to a whorehouse?" Sam laughed.

 

"This is insane. Freakin' _insane_." Dean breathed, mesmerized.

 

"It's our show." Jensen said slowly, shooting Dean a cautious look. Jared and the Doctor drifted over as well, watching as Dean sent the deer-in-headlights angel off with a wad of cash and a prostitute.

 

"...Uh, guys?" Misha called, eyeing the glowing butter distrustfully. "Doctor?"

 

A commercial broke in as he spoke, and the Doctor turned back to the actor.

 

"Ah, yes. So, you three," He pointed to Jensen, Jared, and Misha. "Are going to search for time energy with the locator. We'll go about looking for anything suspicious. Come along, Winchesters!" The Doctor grabbed Sam and Dean's collars, forcing them to follow him out the door.

 

"But how do we know if it's working!" Misha yelled after them. The Doctor's head popped up in the doorway.

 

"You may feel a sort of...burning sensation." He disappeared before Misha could object.

 

"What! Where?!" Misha turned to his companions, wearing the same deer-in-headlights look as Castiel had moments before.

 

  


 

"C'mon!" Rory called to his wife, ducking down a service hallway. Clanging sounds were echoing around the ship - it hadn't taken long for Madame Kovarian to alert the crew of their escape.

 

"Where are we going!" Amy hissed, head whipping around, searching for guards. Rory pushed against a door, granting them entry into a control bay.

 

"Anywhere but where we were." He replied, heading for the blank monitors. Rory tapped a few buttons, watching cluelessly as a menu filled the screen.

 

"Ah, hm, um..." His hands fluttered around the controls, unsure of what to press. Finally, he punched a few random buttons and watched as a three-dimensional map materialized on the screen.

 

"Look! It's the ship!" Rory pressed his finger to a glowing dot on the map. "That's us!"

 

"Yeah," Amy said, glancing back at the door as she moved towards the monitor. "Now what?"

 

"There's an escape pod right above us, just there." Rory dragged his finger along a path to an area just a little farther down the hallway from them on an upper level. "And there's a staircase here."

 

"So, escape pod?" Amy asked decisively, and Rory nodded just as a blaring alarm went off inside the room. Pounding footsteps echoed in their direction as they scrambled for a back door.

 

"Hey!" Somebody shouted as they entered the room, brandishing a gun. "Freeze!"

 

Amy had already slipped through the door and Rory ducked, pulling himself through the slim opening behind her as the guard let a laser round loose. They sprinted down the hallway towards the staircase, a banging echo informing them that the guards had come through the back door in pursuit of the escaped captives.

 

"They're going up the stairs!" Another guard yelled as they reached the staircase. Amy was on her way to the first landing when Rory stopped.

 

"C'mon, Rory!" He waved her away as she tugged on his arm.

 

"Go! Go find the Doctor and the Winchesters. I'll be fine." He caught her eye, a determined expression fixed upon his face. "I'm not leaving him."

 

"I'd better see your stupid face again!" Amy hissed in frustration, despite the flare of pride that rose up in her for her husband for refusing to leave the angel that had provided them the opportunity to run in the first place. She pecked him on the cheek briefly before taking the metal staircase two steps at a time.

 

"Freeze!" A guard commanded as Amy clattered up the staircase and out of sight. Rory lifted his arms in surrender. Two guards moved for the staircase, preparing to go around him in pursuit of Amy, when he lashed out, catching one guard in the face and another in the shoulder.

 

Rory ducked as the third guard let off another laser round, knocking out the guards he had felled with two well-placed fists. He whirled around, kicking the third guard in the elbow and sending the gun to the base of the staircase.

 

In one, fluid movement, Rory pinned the last guard to the wall with his forearm.

 

"First, my baby. Then, my wife?" He paused, glaring at the guard in pure hatred before knocking him out as well against the wall.

 

"I don't think so." Rory dropped the guard, sprinting towards the staircase.

 

"Amy! Cas!" Rory called, bounding up the steps. He spilled out into the upper hallway, searching for any sign of his wife or the angel.

 

"Don't you even move." Madame Kovarian commanded, and Rory skidded to a stop. Her gun was pressed against Amy's cheek as she clutched his wife's shoulder.

 

"On your knees, now. Now!" Rory's eyes flickered to Amy's wide, fearful ones, and he sank to his knees, arms rising slowly.

 

"That's better." Madame Kovarian smiled, and Rory felt hatred once again well in his stomach. He stared at the ground, unsure if he would be able to contain himself against this monster of a woman.

 

"Now," Madame Kovarian cocked the gun, moving her finger to the trigger. "Where's the angel?"

 

"I don't know." Rory whispered, through grit teeth.

 

"No, I think you do." She pressed the gun into Amy's temple forcefully. Amy's chest heaved rapidly as she tried to stay still. "I'll ask again. Where's the angel?"

 

"I don't know!" Rory shouted, looking up desperately at the woman.

 

"Wrong answer." The gun fired.

 

  


 

"Are you okay?" The homeless man asked, and Melody was struck by his kindness. This was why humanity had been created - angels and demons were not born with such a capacity for kindness.

 

Yet still, Melody knew, angels and demons were superior to the humans, and all of this would end, soon.

 

"I am dying." She coughed. "But it is okay. I can fix it."

 

The energy danced around her fingertips for a moment, and she saw the homeless man's eyes widen in wonder.

 

Then the world exploded, energy bursting forth from Melody's fingertips just as Madame Kovarian had predicted it would. Melody watched in fascination as the Timelord body restored itself.

 

When it was over, and the homeless man had long since fled in fear, Melody pondered her vessel. This combination of Timelord miracle and angelic power was astonishing. All the possibilities! And so much more reliable than a human vessel, at least for now. Melody would not have to switch bodies until she had perished another 9 times over. Her mission would not have to suffer in losing precious time replacing vessels.

 

Filled with renewed enthusiasm for the task at hand, Melody blinked and disappeared, leaving behind an empty alleyway. Several pieces of trash clattered in the winter wind before giving in to relative silence.

 

It would all end, soon.

 

  


 

The hotel room was dark - shadows played across cream-colored wallpaper as light flashed intermittently through cracks in the blinds. The pool of butter had cooled, flaking and hardening on the wooden table.

 

The room was dark. The room was still.

 

And then he was there.

 

He stood in the center of the room for several minutes, gathering his strength. He closed his eyes, feeling the room, and relaxed.

 

"Sam and Dean were here." Castiel said to himself. He sat on the edge of the bed, drained from the dimension travel. At least this time it had been of his volition.

 

The door clicked, and Castiel's head whipped to stare at it. Slowly, the door swung open and a shadowed figure entered the room.

 

"This is perfect - Misha!" A woman's voice whispered before rising to a normal level as she spotted him. Light flooded the room and a dark-haired, obviously pregnant woman stood before him.

 

"Surprised?" The woman asked, smiling. Castiel simply blinked at her.

 

She moved forward, taking Castiel's hands and pulling him up to stand. The woman hugged him, looking up from his chest.

 

"What's with the trench coat?" She asked playfully.

 

"It...keeps me warm." Castiel answered, thoroughly oblivious and wondering if he should smite the woman.

 

"Oh..." She raised an eyebrow, a seductive smile playing on her lips. "Sexy. Okay Mr. Big Bad Angel - what are you wearing _underneath_ the trench coat?"

 

"A...tie." Castiel replied.

 

"Is that all?" The woman grinned, stretching up to kiss him briefly before releasing him.

 

Castiel blinked, face blank, hopelessly confused.

 

"We missed Daddy, didn't we?" The woman rubbed her stomach lovingly, obviously insinuating that the child was his.

 

"I am n-" Castiel began to protest, but the woman cut him off with a kiss, pulling him onto the bed.

 

"How's the trip been?" She had climbed into Castiel's lap, wrapping herself in his trench coat and curling against his chest. For some strange reason, this human apparently had no qualms regarding personal space.

 

Slowly, Castiel took the woman's hand and brought it to his lips. His tongue flicked out, and he licked a stripe across the back of her hand.

 

"Mish-" The woman began to giggle, when the door opened a second time.

 

"Cas!" Dean and Sam burst into the room, and Castiel paused mid-lick. "What are y-"

 

"WHY ARE YOU LICKING MY WIFE?" Misha demanded, following the Winchesters with a glowing machine in his grasp. Victoria Vantoch gasped, jaw dropping in shock.

 

"She disregarded my personal space. The last human who approached me that way licked me. I felt it was the appropriate response. I apologize." Castiel stood up, dumping Misha's wife on the bed.

 

The Doctor, Jared, and Jensen arrived behind the brothers and Misha, and Castiel nodded to the Doctor.

 

"He licked me." The Doctor sighed.

 

"I'm never going to live that down, am I? So much for a first impression. I've never been very good at those." He ushered everyone into the room and shut the door.

 

"Misha!" Victoria squeaked, scrambling to stand. "What the hell is going on!"

 

"Victoria...this is Castiel." Misha began, eyeing the angel. Castiel cocked his head to the side, peering with grave curiosity at Misha.

 

"But he's - Jared, Jensen-" Dean and Sam raised their hands simultaneously to point at their duplicates as she turned to them, and Victoria gaped.

 

"But that's-"

 

"Impossible? No. Stopping Jack Harkness from flirting with an unattached humanoid organism - _that's_ impossible." The Doctor cut her off, plopping on the bed and flicking on the TV.

 

"Misha, I-" Victoria began, but Misha waved the apology away, carefully setting down the machine.

 

"It's okay honey, you thought he was me." Castiel took several slow steps towards Misha as the other man reassured his wife, head cocked to the side in his usual curious expression.

 

"You are...me?" Castiel questioned slowly, although with his monotone voice it sounded more like a statement. In another step he was in Misha's personal space, peering at him intensely.

 

Dean coughed once, then again more forcefully until Castiel swiveled his head to look at him.

 

"There are four of you." Sam, Jared, and Jensen exchanged looks while Dean rolled his eyes.

 

"Alternate universe Cas - our lives are fiction. _Again._ "

 

"Oi! Is that _really_ what my hair looks like?" The Doctor objected loudly, to no one in particular. He patted his hair, watching the commercial advertising the return of _Doctor Who_ from a mid-season break.

 

"What is wrong with your hair?" Castiel asked, confused by the outburst. The Doctor bounced off the bed as the commercial ended ominously.

 

"Nothing. Not a thing." The Doctor stepped right in front of Castiel, ignoring the personal bubble rule, and freed Misha from the uncomfortable position.

 

Castiel stared at the strange man before him for a moment before raising his arm and dropping his hand onto the Doctor's head. "Obviously."

 

Sam grinned wildly and raised suggestive eyebrows at Jared and Jensen, pointing towards a scowling Dean.

 

Castiel removed his hand from the Doctor's head without further comment, and the Doctor analyzed him excitedly.

 

"Hello Castiel, I don't believe we've met properly. I'm the Doctor. Never met an angel before; well, I've met _stone_ angels and _robot_ angels but never _angel_ angels, so that's new. It's nice to meet you! When you're conscious anyway. You know, I used to have a trench coat like that-" The Doctor babbled away, and Castiel just stared blankly at him. When he had finished, Castiel turned to the Winchesters.

 

"Whoever brought us here is powerful. We must escape immediately." The Doctor leaned forward, poking Castiel's arm as though he expected something to happen. Castiel looked over at him briefly before choosing to ignore him and look to Dean.

 

"Yeah, we got that Cas, but his spaceship's all fucked up from the dimension we're in. How'd you get here anyway?" Dean asked gruffly as the Doctor sniffed Castiel. Dean shot him a look that clearly said, _'what the hell?'_

 

"My sonic's broken!" The Doctor defended indignantly.

 

"My Grace is returning, and it enabled me to break free from the outside influence. What is wrong with your spaceship?" Castiel's attention returned to the Doctor, who looked as though he was seriously trying to decide whether or not to lick the angel again.

 

"This dimension turned it into a prop to balance itself out." Castiel contemplated this information.

 

"I believe I may be able to repair it." His voice rumbled darkly. "Where is the device?"

 

"It's in my room." Jared volunteered.

 

"Let me see it." Castiel strode to the door, throwing it open. Jared, Jensen, and the Doctor followed him, leaving Sam, Dean, and Misha with a speechless and perplexed Victoria.

 

"He doesn't understand sex," Dean offered awkwardly to Victoria after a beat or two of silence. "Believe me, I've tried."

 

Sam laughed, and Dean realized how his sentence had come out. "Aw _hell_...shut up!"

 

Dean whacked his brother in the head and stormed out of the hotel room, a near-hysterical Sam right behind him.

 

  


 

**AND NOW FOR A BRIEF INTERLUDE IN WHICH DEAN AND CASTIEL HAVE HOT ANGEL SEX AND MUCH FANGIRLING ENSUES**

**...**

**END OF INTERLUDE**


	3. Rule #1

  


 

"This is your ship?" Castiel questioned, staring at the blue box. The Doctor nodded, patting the wood affectionately.

 

"I believe I can restore the device." Castiel spread his palms across the doors and closed his eyes, concentrating.

 

"Where were you sent, Castiel?" Jared asked, sharing a look with Jensen. This was bizarre, to say the least.

 

"Did you see Amy and Rory?" The Doctor added, split between concern for his companions and fascination with Castiel.

 

"Yes, they were with me. We were in a holding area of some kind. A woman entered the cell and I provided them a chance to escape before she captured me and I attempted to locate Dean." Sam and Dean entered the room as Castiel spoke.

 

"You located _Dean_?" Sam snickered, enjoying the innuendos on the tip of his tongue.

 

"Yes. Our bond is very strong." Castiel's brow furrowed as his concentration deepened and Dean once again smacked Sam. Jared and Jensen grinned, while the Doctor remained oblivious, as always.

 

There was a moment of silence - Castiel's hands pressed tightly on the TARDIS - when the Doctor gasped, a bright smile erupting across his face.

 

"You did it! Sexy's back!" Castiel stepped back and Dean mouthed _'Sexy?'_ at Sam as the Doctor enthusiastically unlocked the doors.

 

"There we are, baby. Everything's in working order." The Doctor cooed to his machine as the other men filed in.

 

"It's - wow - it-" Sam stuttered, momentarily lost. It hadn't fully registered for the younger Winchester until he walked into the spaceship. _This_ was inside that tiny wooden box?

 

Castiel didn't seem to care one way or another, and Dean was attempting to hide just exactly how impressed he was.

 

"It's bigger on the inside." Jared and Jensen finished together, having seen an episode or so of the show. It was still impressive though, seeing as it was _real_. A real _spaceship_!

 

The Doctor clapped appreciatively. "That's my favorite bit!"

 

"Can we depart?" Castiel questioned, standing awkwardly in the middle of the metal bridge. The Doctor bounced around the controls, hitting and pulling on the conglomeration of odds and ends.

 

Suddenly, Misha's head popped into the doorway.

 

"Guys Victoria is really-whoa!" The actor slipped into the TARDIS, amazed.

 

"Right! So," The Doctor turned, pausing in his whirlwind of activity. "You three. Want to come?"

 

"Come?" Jared repeated mechanically, still taking in the scene.

 

"Come save the world!" The Doctor flapped excitedly at the prospect. The three actors nodded somewhat reluctantly, an undercurrent of nervous electricity permeating the air.

 

"Alright old girl, take us to the Ponds!" The Doctor leaned over and kissed the glass tube in the middle of the console before pulling a green-lit lever.

 

The TARDIS shook as the glass bulbs began pumping and the world turned blue.

 

  


 

Madame Kovarian smiled down at the prisoner before her. Everything was going according to plan and it felt _fantastic_.

 

Amy Pond looked up at the elder woman and glared. Her arms were encased up to the elbows in white molecular immobilizers.

 

"You stole my child. You should fear me." Amy growled. Madame Kovarian bent down to her level.

 

"No my dear, _you_ should fear _me_."

 

"Where's my husband?" Amy demanded icily, after a brief pause. Madame Kovarian smiled cruelly, maintaining eye contact for a moment before pressing a finger to her earpiece.

 

"Bring him in." Her tone was dry, bored, and Amy continued to glare murderously at her until her attention was diverted by the metal bed hovering into the room.

 

"Rory!" Amy struggled to stand, but her legs were weighed down by another pair of molecular immobilizers.

 

Madame Kovarian's blood-red lips parted in a sly grin as she took in a breath to speak, but one of the soldiers that had brought the unconscious Rory Pond into the room interrupted her.

 

"Excuse me, ma'am?" She raised a dangerous-looking eyebrow at the young man.

 

"Yes? He swallowed thickly, sensing her irritation.

 

"We seem to have a problem." Madame Kovarian's good mood soured, and her singular eye narrowed.

 

"What kind of...problem?" She asked carefully. The soldier shuffled his feet, nervously shifting his gun to the other shoulder.

 

"It's _him_ , ma'am." Madame Kovarian fell silent, and after a moment it dawned on Amy. She laughed loudly, and Madame Kovarian's lips pressed into a thin line.

 

"Who's scared now!" Amy yelled after the woman as she briskly departed from the room. Amy grinned vindictively.

 

He always came for her. And he always won.

 

  


 

"Perhaps this wasn't the best course of action!" The Doctor conceded grandly, hair flopping as the seven men fled down a metal corridor. Shouts of alarm were echoing around the ship, alerting people to the trespassers' presence.

 

"Oh, you think!" Dean growled back, ducking as a laser round scorched the wall behind his head.

 

"Don't get hit by those." The Doctor advised, sliding up to a metal door. This caused a slight back-up as he quickly cracked the code to get them inside the room.

 

"Okay, so, element of surprise is gone." Sam shot out, catching his breath. "Anybody got a plan?"

 

"Let us find the humans and escape." Castiel rumbled, closing his crystal eyes and sucking in a large breath. His eyes flashed open after a moment.

 

"This way." Castiel swiftly crossed the dark metal room they were in - a small storage facility, mimicking the one he had been held in earlier, only this time there was a dim overhead light.

 

Castiel threw open the door on the other side of the room, only to be greeted with a horde of angry-looking guards. He reached out with his forefinger to knock them out, but Dean pulled him back into the room and Sam wrenched the door closed. Jared, Jensen, and Misha hurried to help them move several containers to barricade the door.

 

"Okay. Anybody else?" Sam suggested, clapping his hands together and smiling nervously.

 

"Hello Doctor." Madame Kovarian's voice was quiet, but Misha shouted loudly at her sudden appearance.

 

"Oh it would be _you_." The Doctor rolled his eyes, evidently annoyed and disappointed that is wasn't a more interesting foe. Her evil smile flickered as her mouth set into indignation at his brush off.

 

"Pleasure to see you too, Doctor. And the angel. And _ah_ , the Winchester boys!" Her smile was back briefly before it morphed into a frown. "Why are there four of you?"

 

"Aha! Didn't see that one coming did you! Now we're unpredictable! We have four Winchesters!" The Doctor gestured wildly at his companions. "And two angels!"

 

"I still only see one of you, Doctor." She seemed amused by his antics; as though she knew it was only a matter of time before they came to a swift end.

 

"That's all you really need." He flashed a confident grin, pacing a bit. "How'd you get in here?"

 

Madame Kovarian laughed. "This is _my ship_ Doctor. I used a transmat."

 

"Clever." The Doctor allowed. "But not very theatrical. I think on a performance scale I would have to give you four and a half. The act needs more _pizazz_."

 

Madame Kovarian smiled thinly. "This is no act, Doctor."

 

"Then I want my money back!" He complained. Evidently, he was starting to irritate the woman, as her pulse was slowly becoming visible in her neck. "And why do you feel the need to add my name to the end of everything?"

 

"I'm afraid we have a strict policy of no refunds." Her tone was cutting, cold, but the Doctor simply grinned at her terrible comeback.

 

"I suppose I'll have to speak with your manage-"

 

"STOP THIS NONSENSE!" Madame Kovarian commanded, unable to continue the ridiculous conversation. There was a brief moment of silence before she continued. "You would be smart to surrender. We have you surrounded."

 

"That may be a _bit_ of a problem. You see, I've never been very smart. Clever, yes; sneaky, _perhaps_ ; but smart? Well, maybe a tad smart." The Doctor thought this over for a moment. In that moment, Madame Kovarian pulled out her gun.

 

"Surely you're smart enough to understand this?" She grinned and cocked the gun as the Doctor stared at her.

 

"'fraid not." He replied quickly, flicking his arm out towards the floor. His sonic screwdriver slipped out of his sleeve and into his hand, and he lit it up, taking aim at the machinery below his feet. A blue glow engulfed the Doctor and his companions and as they disappeared, Madame Kovarian shot the gun.

 

  


 

"What the hell was that?" Dean demanded as the blue glow receded, patting himself down to make sure everything was intact. Everyone seemed slightly disoriented, and it was then that Dean realized they were no longer in the storage closet.

 

"Transmat. The sonic works!" The Doctor wheezed, collapsing onto the ground. Sam, Jared, and Misha followed him, trying to help.

 

"She shot him. Right in the heart." Sam informed them gravely. "He's got a few minutes, tops. I don't know how he's still coherent."

 

"Cas, can you heal him?" Dean asked the angel. Castiel blinked once before slowly answering.

 

"I believe my Grace is strong enough." The angel crouched, splaying his palms across the Doctor's heaving chest. Blood was beginning to seep through his suit jacket, but the Doctor grinned, seemingly-unconcerned with his impending death.

 

"Oh c'mon, it's not _fatal_." The Doctor moved to sit up, but Sam, Jared, and Misha held him firmly down.

 

"She _shot_ you in the _heart_." Dean snorted. The Doctor rolled his eyes.

 

"I have two hearts-ACK!" White light flashed from Castiel's hands, pulsing outwards from the Doctor's chest before fading into his skin. The wound was gone, as were the bloodstains.

 

"Wow! I feel fantastic!" The Doctor bounced up, clapping the angel on the back. "As if I were freshly regenerated! Thank you, Castiel!"

 

"You have...two hearts." Sam repeated slowly. The Doctor nodded absent-mindedly, half-listening as he cataloged the new room they were occupying.

 

"You're an alien! You're a fucking alien!" Dean burst out disbelievingly. The Doctor turned around, brow furrowing.

 

"Huh, must've skipped over that bit." He pressed his ear to a large metal box against the wall. "Yup, last of the Timelords, the oncoming storm - hey, look at that!"

 

A projection erupted from a slit at the top of the box, flashing across the wall behind Castiel. The angel stood in the middle of the image awkwardly for a moment before moving off to the side, out of the way.

 

The previously distorted picture reformed, revealing Amy and Rory in a spacious, white room.

 

"It's a security feed! Maybe I can...if I just..." The Doctor procured his sonic from his sleeve and adjusted the box. The sonic began buzzing irregularly, flashing with a transmitting beat.

 

"There we go! Now we can find our favorite Ponds!" The Doctor bounced around the room, holding the sonic screwdriver before him as a navigation tool.

 

"Right...here!" The Doctor looked up, spotting a vent. He turned around and grinned at his companions.

 

They stood in silence for a moment as the Doctor opened up the vent and climbed inside. They stood there, listening to him clank about before Dean sighed and moved forward to climb in after him.

 

"Someone had better buy me a _very_ stiff drink when all of this shit is over."

 

  


 

"Rory? Can you hear me?" Amy hissed, pausing to listen for something - anything - to emit from her husband. Rory stayed silent.

 

"Rory...I'm sorry. I'm sorry you were shot - it's my fault. You were protecting _me_." Amy looked down, staring at her encased hands. "I love you, Rory Williams. I'm proud of you and I'm lucky to have you. Don't you forget that. I know sometimes the Doctor saves the day and he's my hero, my childhood hero but...you're my husband."

 

Amy waited for a response before closing her eyes. The Doctor was there, somewhere in the ship, and he would find her. He would find her and he would fix Rory and everything would be perfectly alright.

 

"Amy. Amy..." Amy's head whipped up at the whisper.

 

"Rory? Rory don't worry, I'm here." Amy dragged her limbs across the floor with a grating sound, anxious to be at Rory's bedside.

 

"Amy...hello." Rory smiled at his wide, blue eyes sparkling dully in the glaring artificial light.

 

"Hello." Amy smiled back, struggling to drag her upper torso level with his bed, due to the weight of the molecular immobilizers. They were extremely heavy; _heavier than a bag of bricks_ , Amy reasoned with irritation.

 

"You okay?" Rory asked quietly. Amy laughed, resting her head against his shoulder and feeling a bit better that he was at least conscious.

 

"I'm fine. Thanks to you." Rory smiled wistfully again and Amy leaned down, gently pressing a kiss to his lips.

 

"GERONIMO!"

 

Amy flinched violently at the unexpected noise, falling backwards, unable to control the weight. The Doctor landed beside her, quickly followed and crushed by Dean, Sam, Jensen, Jared, Castiel, and Misha.

 

"Remind me _never_ to crawl through a vent with you ever again!" Jensen growled, extracting himself from the pile.

 

"Amy! We're here to rescue you!" The Doctor grinned at her before pointing to Rory. "What happened?"

 

"It's Madame Kovarian - she's behind all this. She shot him. Amy informed him, struggling to right herself. Sam bent down to help her, grunting with exertion as he lifted the molecular immobilizer.

 

"Yes, yes, we know. What _is_ it with that woman and _guns_?" The Doctor mumbled, approaching Rory's bedside. Rory's hand fluttered, a wave, as his head slowly swiveled to look at the Timelord.

 

"Hey," Rory greeted throatily. The Doctor touched his shoulder lightly, looking back to Castiel.

 

"Can you heal him?" Castiel stepped forward and nodded.

 

"I believe so." Castiel rested his hands on Rory's abdomen, concentrating. Rory stared blankly up at him until the white light appeared and his back arched as Castiel healed him.

 

"Thank you," Amy said, both to Sam and Castiel. Her brow furrowed as she finally looked around the room. "Wait, why are there four of you?"

 

"Alternate dimensions! But that's not important right now." The Doctor crouched down, whipping out his screwdriver. "Let's get these things off you."

 

"Doctor!" Dean called, and the Doctor jumped up, forgoing Amy for the moment.

 

"Yes-oh bugger." Dean was standing near a computer bank, obviously concerned by the computer's display - a map of the ship that showed a group of red dots, presumably guards, converging on them.

 

"Come on!" The Doctor called, rushing out of the room. Amy cried out after him to free her, but he was already gone.

 

"We'll just have to carry you, then." Rory declared, standing up, perfectly well. He bent down to lift his wife, and Sam, Dean, Jared, and Jensen moved to help, hefting a molecular immobilizer each.

 

"How lucky can a girl get?" Amy joked, wrapping her arms around Rory's neck as the boys carried her out into the hallway as quickly as possible. "I'm Amy, by the way, and this is my husband Rory. Dean and Sam and...?"

 

"Jared, Jensen, and that's Misha." Jared introduced, looking behind them to Castiel and Misha, who were running identically side-by-side. Misha kept shooting Castiel odd looks, disconcerted by his character double.

 

"Hey!" A guard barked at them, and they sped up, turning the corner and gaining ground on the Doctor.

 

"This way!" The Doctor called, skidding around another corner. He led them through another door, into another computer bay.

 

"How many control centers does this place _have_?" The Doctor questioned, sealing the door off after Castiel and Misha. "And where are the operators?"

 

"Does it _matter_?" Dean huffed, adjusting his grip on Amy's leg. "Would you _please_..."

 

"Oh, right! Sorry." The Doctor flicked his screwdriver, unlocking the molecular immobilizers around Amy's legs and sending them immediately to the metal ground. He prepares to unlock her arms as she stood, but a transmat activated and brought two young technicians into the middle of the room.

 

"Hey! You-" The first technician never got to finish his sentence. With an almost animalistic roar, Amy charged forward, swinging her arms around to knock both technicians in the head, successfully incapacitating them.

 

"Now _that's_ how it's done." Dean muttered appreciatively as the Doctor unlocked her arms. Amy winked happily at him before jumping into Rory's arms. Rory glared at him for a moment before his expression smoothed into one of confusion, and he held back a laugh.

 

Dean whirled around, only to discover that Sam was gesturing between him and an oblivious angel, and then making several hand gestures that clearly conveyed his belief that his brother was fucking Castiel.

 

"You dick!" Dean smacked his brother, while Jared and Jensen looked amused and Rory began laughing aloud. "You know what Sammy, you're adopted!"

 

"Really, Dean? _That's_ the best insult you can come up with?" Sam teased, ducking as Dean went in for a headshot.

 

"Well, now that we're out of immediate danger and all of our limbs are free, why don't we-" The room lurched suddenly, sending everyone to the ground. When the tremor subsided, Amy gasped.

 

" _Mels?!_ " Everyone turned to face the wall behind the Doctor; an African-American woman smiled at them.

 

"Mels?" The Doctor questioned, looking to Amy. Her surprised gaze flickered back and forth between them.

 

"She's our friend. Our best friend." Rory informed him, looking lost. Mels strode forward, giving the group a wide berth but appearing unthreatened. Her eyes locked on the Doctor, analyzing his every movement, as though contemplating a particularly boring object of no foreseeable value, like a knick-knack on a parlor mantel. You only observed it out of courtesy.

 

"So _you're_ the infamous Doctor. I've heard _ever_ so much about you." Mels flashed her pearly-white teeth at the group, stopping to lean comfortably against a wall. "Oh Amy, Amy. You said he was funny. You never said he was _hot_."

 

Mels winked at the Doctor, slinking forward. He backed up awkwardly, unsure how to deal with the advance.

 

"And the Winchesters! Hello boys! Oh that's quite lovely, four of you at once. And an extra angel! How lucky can a girl get?" Mels winked and laughed, turning away from the Doctor.

 

"How do you know who we are?" Sam asked carefully. Mels sighed, amusement and sadness mixing in her eyes.

 

"Ah, Sammy. Dear little Sammy Winchester. I've been at this for far too long...It seems I've become a little too comfortable in here. I'm not Melody." Mels crossed her arms, lips pursed.

 

" _Melody?_ " The Doctor interrupted. "Mels is short for _Melody?_ "

 

"Well yeah, what'd you think it was short for, watermelon?" Amy snapped sarcastically. She shot Melody a wary look. "I named my daughter after you, Mels. What's wrong with you?"

 

"What do you mean you're not Melody?" Rory asked slowly, unsure if the question was skipped over for a reason.

 

"My name is Michael. I've been waiting for you." Melody uncrossed her arms, standing up straight.

 

" _Michael?!_ " Sam, Dean, Jensen, Jared, and Misha exclaimed.

 

"Who's Michael?" Amy asked, confused. "That's Melody!"

 

"Melody is Michael's vessel." Castiel spoke up, and Michael laughed.

 

"And the baby angel catches on! That one's been floating around Heaven for a while, baby brother." Castiel's jaw clenched as Michael addressed him directly.

 

"She's your daughter." Amy whirled around at the Doctor's words, eyes popping in shock. "You named your daughter...after your daughter. Time is _really_ messed up today, isn't it?"

 

"Wait, who's Michael? What's a vessel? Will someone please explain what's going on!" Rory shook his head, taking a step forward as if to reach out to Melody.

 

"Michael is an angel of the Lord. An archangel." Castiel practically growled.

 

"A vessel is a human body that an angel inhabits to walk to Earth. Their true form is too overwhelming for us to see." Jensen followed up.

 

"Except," Michael smiled, holding up a manicured finger to politely interrupt. "Melody isn't human."

 

"I don't get it," Dean began cautiously. "I thought _I_ was supposed to be your vessel."

 

"Well, that was how it was prophesized, yeah. And you do look quite comfy." Michael shrugged. "But she is not human. She is a Timelord. And, it seems, Timelords possess this ingenious ability - they can regenerate their entire body, rewrite every single cell, 12 times over. I've got 9 bodies to go." Now it was the Winchesters' turn to be surprised.

 

"You didn't think to mention this before, time boy?" Dean growled at the Doctor.

 

"To be perfectly honest, I did _not_ see that one coming." The Doctor grinned nervously.

 

"So much to do with a human life. I think I've come to appreciate you humans more, I really have." Michael sighed, cracking his knuckles and making eye contact with the Doctor. "I am truly sorry, but I really must get back to the job at hand."

 

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait a moment!" The Doctor stuttered, and Michael paused in his advance. "I'm still a _tad_ confused. What exactly is the job at hand?"

 

"Your death. I promise it will be quick." Michael moved forward again, and the Doctor jumped back.

 

"What will my death accomplish? Aren't I supposed to die in Utah?" Michael paused again, and the Doctor inched backward.

 

"You know?" Amy couldn't quite help interrupting, and the Doctor gave her a look that clearly told her she was slow on the uptake.

 

"Of _course_ I know. I'm the Doctor." He turned back to Michael warily.

 

"In the fields of Trenzalore, at the fall of the 11th, a question will be asked. The oldest question in the world, hidden in plain sight. And _you're_ going to ask it." Michael wound up his finger before jabbing it at him. "Apparently, 'Silence will fall when the question is asked'."

 

"They want to make sure I never ask the question." The Doctor deduced, noting the new development to himself. "But what's the question?"

 

Michael shrugged again. "I don't know. I don't know about anything in Utah, either."

 

"What do you get from all of this?" The Doctor asked curiously.

 

"I must fight my brother, Lucifer. Madame Kovarian proposed a deal - the Winchesters and a vessel in exchange for your death." Michael put a foot forward, and the Doctor skidded back a pace.

 

"Michael wants to kick start the apocalypse." Dean interjected, glaring at the archangel. "Originally, I was his vessel and Sam...Sam was Lucifer's."

 

"Sam _is_ Lucifer's." Michael's attention was diverted to Dean. "He is the only option."

 

"Well it's not going to happen!" Dean shouted, jaw clenching. "Over my dead body, arch-asshole!"

 

"So be it." Michael moved again, this time towards Dean, but the Doctor darted in front of the angel, blocking his companions.

 

"'Silence will fall when the question is asked.' They don't want that. The Silence want the apocalypse. Why would they help you start it?" Michael huffed, evidently getting sick of the inquiries.

 

"It is not the _same_ apocalypse." Everybody's eyebrows rose at this revelation.

 

"There's more than _one_?" Dean asked skeptically. Michael nodded.

 

"Yes. The Silence do not care about my world, and I do not care about theirs. It is not part of my Father's plan. Now! Enough talk. I do apologize but-"

 

"Hey, Assbutt!" Castiel tossed a bottle at Michael. He let out an unearthly scream as the bottle connected with his chest, and he disintegrated into fiery ash.

 

"That should buy us some time." Castiel said, shoving his hands into his pockets. Jared, Jensen, and Misha shared a knowing look, almost laughing, while Sam and Dean looked impressed and the Doctor grinned. Amy and Rory were just plain confused.

 

"Pockets! I love it!" The Doctor gestured wildly.

 

"But Michael...Michael was in the astronaut suit. I saw him." Amy said slowly.

 

"It's the timelines. They're all out of sorts. Everything is so twisted; even the fixed point of my death is in flux. This is bad." The Doctor said, looking thoughtful.

 

"Well isn't that Goddamn dandy!" Dean burst out. "The apocalypse! But not just one. Two!"

 

"What would you call that, apocali?" Sam mused, briefly distracted.

 

"I'm not sure; there's never been TWO APOCALYPSES!" Dean snorted sarcastically.

 

"...definitely apocali, Dean-" Jared backed Sam up, and Dean cut him off.

 

" _Seriously?_ "

 

"Apocalypse, no apocalypse, tea and biscuits; we've got to stop it. Michael wants to fight Lucifer, right?" The Doctor began pacing.

 

"Yeah?" Sam replied, brow furrowed.

 

"How does Lucifer feel about this?" The Doctor looked up, but received no answer. "Has nobody bothered to _ask_ him?"

 

"Oh yeah, every time I see Satan I sit him down and ask him about his Goddamn feelings - no, nobody's _asked_ him!" Dean exploded.

 

"Well, why are they fighting? If Michael _wants_ the apocalypse, Lucifer must be on the opposite end of the argument." The Doctor reasoned. He smiled at them. "Let's have a little chat with the Lord of the Underworld, shall we?"

 

"You're not serious, are you? I thought you said you'd met him before and he was 'pure evil'!" Amy asked as the Doctor dropped down to his knees. He looked up at her, excitement in his eyes.

 

"Praying. Certainly never done this before." He bent his head forward, clasping his hands together, and began to pray as his companions stared, dumbstruck.

 

" _Lucifer hic Doctor. Im 'certus vos meminisse me memini, sed vos. Nonne vos ante magna malabrutis! Usquam, Ive 'got a te propositum vestrum vas pertinent, ut si vos could iustus pop in liberout hic sit dilatare-_ " The Doctor prayed quickly, and Dean lunged for him.

 

"No, don't-!" But it was too late. Dean tackled the Doctor as an instant chill permeated the air. Castiel growled, crouching defensively.

 

"Hello boys," Lucifer tilted his head sideways, observing them curiously. "You rang?"

 

  


 

"You summoned Lucifer." Dean shoved the Doctor angrily, scrambling to right himself so as not to be taken off-guard.

 

"Yes, he did." Lucifer's eyes flickered to the Doctor's. "Across a whole dimension. It has been a while since somebody prayed to me in Latin. I like you. Now, about this proposition-"

 

"Proposition?" Dean demanded. The Doctor calmly raised his hands.

 

"Wait, you know _Latin?_ " Amy interrupted, eyebrows raised.

 

"Of course I know Latin! Crash-landed in Vatican City, had a cup of tea with Pope Alexander VI. He was an odd one, always asking me how my father was. When I told him I didn't have one, he just about had a heart attack." Amy shook her head at the onslaught of information.

 

"You don't have a dad?" The Doctor ignored her, continuing his monologue.

 

"And ah yes, the proposition - Michael wants the apocalypse. He's agreed to kill me in exchange for luring the Winchesters here for your battle." Lucifer looked at the Winchesters briefly as the Doctor explained the situation.

 

"I'm supposed to take Sam as my vessel in Detroit. The battle must happen in Stull Cemetery. There are four of you and an extra angel, who is not an angel." Lucifer frowned, noticing Jared, Jensen, and Misha as he mulled over the information.

 

"And I'm supposed to die in Utah! Time is very unstable, and if we don't stop Michael and The Silence and get everything back in order, it's going to completely unravel." The Doctor took a step forward, extending a hand to the Devil. "You don't want the apocalypse. You don't want to fight Michael."

 

Slowly, Lucifer took the Doctor's hand and shook it.

 

"We made a deal with the devil!" Dean threw his hands up, frustrated and worried. "Chuck's probably having a conniption."

 

"How do we proceed?" Castiel asked, eyes flickering back and forth between the Doctor and Lucifer, obviously trying to figure out if this was a good idea.

 

"I know you have the rings, Dean." Lucifer's lips curled into a dangerous smile. "It does not matter. Once I'm inside Sam-"

 

"No." The Doctor cut him off. "You can't have Sam. Not here. Detroit, you said? It's a fixed point. You can't fight Michael either."

 

"Then how are we supposed to defeat him?" Jensen asked. The Doctor smiled conspiratorially.

 

"I've got a plan. Trust me." Amy groaned at his words.

 

"We're _doomed_."

 

  


 

"They're around here somewhere. Find them!" Madame Kovarian snapped, heels clicking sharply against the metal. Soldiers and technicians scrambled to try and locate the Doctor and the Winchesters, but they were nowhere to be found.

 

A hiss of pain emitted from behind her, and the woman turned, raising an eyebrow at the archangel before her.

 

"Well?" Michael glared at her, clutching his chest where a burn mark indicated he had been hit by a projectile of some sort.

 

"Evacuate the ship. I will deal with them." Madame Kovarian crossed her arms, unconvinced.

 

"You look like you couldn't squash a beetle. What did they do to you?" Michael's fists clenched as the burn wound healed itself. He slowed his breathing, mouth twisting angrily.

 

"Evacuate the ship. Now." Madame Kovarian's lips pressed into a thin, red line.

 

"I brought you the Winchesters. I kept my end of the deal. You-" Michael cut her off, nostrils flaring in agitation.

 

"I will kill the Doctor, and I will defeat Lucifer. No one on this ship will survive. Evacuate immediately if you wish to live." And then he was gone, disappearing into thin air. Madame Kovarian stared at the spot where Michael had been for a long moment.

 

"Ma'am, we've located the intruders." A soldier interrupted her silence, and Madame Kovarian shook her head.

 

"Stand down." She turned around to face him, eye patch glinting in the artificial light. "Evacuate the ship."

 

  


 

" _The Impala, of course, has all the things other cars have, and a few things they don't. The army man Sam crammed in the ashtray - it's still stuck there. The Legos Dean shoved into the vents - to this day, the heat comes on and they can hear 'em rattle._

_The TARDIS has approximately 704 rooms, depending on her mood. Yes, the TARDIS is sentient. The Chameleon Circuit, a device the TARDIS uses to blend in with its environment, is stuck on one template - a police telephone box._

_The TARDIS is, contrary to popular belief, not a unique object. I'm not denying its rarity - it is a spaceship after all - but there have been other Type 40 TARDIS' before it._

_You're probably wondering; why are you telling us this, Chuck? What could the Impala and the TARDIS possibly have in common that's so important to waste time mentioning?_

_Well, that army man Sam stuck in the ashtray? With a hard tug, it would come out. Those Legos in the vent? Dean could have them out in ten minutes. The Chameleon Circuit? Easily fixed with a new binary cord._

_But if you took away these things - the army man, the Legos, the broken circuit - what would you have?_

_A car and a spaceship. But they wouldn't be the Impala and the TARDIS._

_It's the blemishes that make them beautiful; it's the blemishes that make them important._

_Without the blemishes, is anything really important at all?_ "

 

  


 

Lucifer stepped into the bright hallway, flexing his fist. He inhaled sharply, slowly strolling down the hallway.

 

"Lucifer. It has been a while." The fallen archangel stopped, swiveling around calmly. Michael stood behind him, a few paces away. He smiled grimly.

 

"So it has, Michael. Having a gender crisis?" Lucifer asked, lips curling upwards at the edges as he poked his older brother. Michael's eyes flashed dangerously.

 

"She will do for now. I see you've taken your destined vessel. We must fight." Michael tensed, but Lucifer waved his new hand.

 

"No, Michael. You have been messing around with things you shouldn't. We cannot fight here. It is a fixed point in time. Stull Cemetery is our battleground." Michael shook his head.

 

"Fixed points can be rewritten. Besides, it won't be an issue once the Doctor is dead. His death will erase any damage I have done." Lucifer raised a skeptical eyebrow at his brother's assertions.

 

"And who told you that? This _woman_ you have teamed up with?" Lucifer laughed mirthlessly. "She is but a human, an infant and a bug. But it is of no consequence."

 

"Is that so?" Michael's face twisted, and Lucifer laughed again.

 

"I cannot take you seriously in that vessel, brother." Michael glared at him, and Lucifer sighed.

 

"Please, reconsider. I do not want death and destruction. What are we fighting for? I bear you no ill will. Why can't we just walk away?" Lucifer's voice was soft and patient, but Michael wasn't buying it.

 

"It is what the Lord our Father has commanded. Thy kingdom has come, thy will shall be done," Michael tensed again, snarling. "On Earth as it is in Heaven!"

 

"Oh, don't start quoting prayers at me now." Lucifer drawled. "In case you haven't noticed, Heaven _sucks_."

 

"It is how it has been commanded. I must follow my Father." Lucifer shrugged at the attempt of a personal slight by Michael.

 

"So be it, brother. How the tables have turned. It seems _I_ am the one cleaning up _your_ messes now." Lucifer seemed mournful, but it passed as he shook his head in disapproval.

 

"I'm sorry." Michael said, spreading his arms half-apologetically. Lucifer flashed Michael his teeth.

 

"So am I." Dean burst out of the vent above Michael and plunged an angel killing blade into his heart. Michael laughed as Lucifer quickly pulled Dean to safety with his powers.

 

Blood poured from the wound as Michael ripped the blade from his chest. He coughed a splatter up, laughing once more.

 

" _That_ was your plan? How futile. It will only kill the vessel. A simple _angel_ blade. I expected more of you." And those were the last words Michael said before regenerating.

 

Dean pressed his face into his elbow, trying to cover his ears as well. Light from Melody's regeneration and Michael's true form mixed together as the transformation began. Lucifer looked on, intrigued.

 

When it was finished, a new woman stood before them. She looked up, eyes flashing through the new mane of golden locks adorning her head.

 

"Like I said, futile. When will you Winchesters learn?" Michael took a step forward and paused. His hand whipped out to the right, and the Doctor came tumbling out of the vent Dean had previously been occupying, propelling by an invisible force.

 

His sonic screwdriver clattered to the ground, rolling against the opposite wall from where the Timelord had landed in a heap on the floor. Michael turned, snapping his fingers, and the screwdriver exploded into tiny scraps.

 

"Clever, clever, you nearly got me. Enochian sigil on your ribs?" Michael didn't wait for an answer. "Castiel's just _giving_ them away these days, isn't he?"

 

The Doctor stood up slowly, shooting a look at Dean and Lucifer.

 

"Demon got your tongue?" Michael teased, and the Doctor stared at him for a moment.

 

"Misha, now!" Castiel and Misha appeared beside the Doctor, and Misha passed him the toy sonic screwdriver from his fanny pack that was evidently no longer a toy.

 

The Doctor brandished it at Michael almost threateningly, a child-like excitement painted across his features.

 

"Let her go. This is your last chance." The Doctor warned. Michael cocked his head, eyelashes fluttering.

 

"No." The Doctor smiled sadly before turning quickly to Castiel and pressing the sonic button, activating the screwdriver.

 

"Setting 493 - Angel Amplifier! Very new. Probably never going to use it again but-!" Castiel began to glow a holy white, not enough to burn out their eyes, but enough to make Dean wish he had a pair of sunglasses.

 

The angel spread his arms, watching curiously as pulses of energy began flowing through his vessel.

 

Castiel looked up, smiling dangerously at Michael. Michael growled, unsure of what was happening. Castiel's arm outstretched quickly, and Michael was thrown back with a burst of holy light.

 

Amy and Jensen zapped into the corridor, accompanied by the blue flash of a transmat, latching onto Michael's limbs. Castiel advanced, whipping a beam of energy into the archangel's abdomen. Michael screamed in pain, sucking in heavy puffs of air as he tried to focus his powers and shake free of Amy and Jensen's hold.

 

"I am sending you back to Heaven, Michael." Castiel said, forming a large ball of energy.

"I don't...think so!" Michael spat out, gritting his teeth as he began to glow gold. Amy exchanged a surprised look with Jensen.

 

"Let him go!" The Doctor cried, jumping forward. Dean held him back, and Amy and Jensen leaped out of the way as Michael released a burst of energy.

 

"You think a little boost to your angel juice can defeat me?" Michael sneered, regeneration energy swirling around him. "I am an archangel!"

 

Michael lashed out at Castiel, throwing him to the ground with an overwhelming strike of regeneration energy and angelic power.

 

"Castiel!" The Doctor dove to the ground, sliding beside the angel. He pressed two fingers to Castiel's temple and the sonic to the other, activating it.

 

The Doctor and Castiel were obscured by a fresh, blinding flare of energy. Castiel emerged from it, arms outstretched.

 

" _Olani argedco oiad nanaeel od gran ol oiad.  
Olani argedco oiad nanaeel od gran ol oiad._ " Castiel began the Enochian chant. Tendrils of light shot from his fingertips, swirling around Michael.

 

"No!" Michael roared, slicing through the bonds with his power.

 

"Now!" The Doctor ordered. Sam and Rory dropped out of the ceiling behind Lucifer, grabbing a hold of him. He struggled, but more white light attached to him.

 

" _Hoath nanta,  
Oi gassagen oe conisbra oiad.  
Zamran oiad,  
Zamran oiad,_ " Misha and the Doctor joined in Castiel's chant. The bonds thickened around Michael and Lucifer, ensnaring their limbs and immobilizing them. One tendril snaked up their necks towards their faces.

 

" _Zamran oi bazm oiad baghie!_ " Castiel, Misha, and the Doctor finished, and Michael and Lucifer burst out of their vessels. Everyone covered their eyes, save for Castiel and Misha.

 

"Open it!" Castiel growled, struggling to manipulate his power. Misha scrambled to unzip his fanny pack.

 

In a whirlwind of crackling angelic power, Castiel fought the archangels in their true forms, gaining and losing ground as he beat them into submission.

 

Castiel screamed in exertion, his true voice leaking through, and with one final push, Michael and Lucifer were contained.

 

As Castiel slumped to the ground, the light dissipating almost instantly, everyone looked up. Misha was blinking away spots, holding his closed fanny pack with a peculiar expression.

 

"Where are they?" Dean asked, looking around for any sign of the archangels. Nothing but empty - breathing - vessels.

 

"In the fanny pack." Misha answered, looking down at the small, nylon bag, stunned. Dean's jaw dropped and he turned to his brother, who seemed equally astonished.

 

"They're in the fanny pack." Sam repeated.

 

"The archangels are in the fanny pack." Castiel confirmed stoically as the Doctor took the bag from Misha.

 

"It worked!" The Doctor beamed, tossing the bag into the air and catching it, seemingly unconcerned by the fact that two inevitably pissed off archangels dwelled inside. Jensen bent down, helping Jared up as he awakened from his time as a vessel.

 

"Exorcism! That's new. Never performed an exorcism before." His companions simply stared at him. Castiel slowly stood up, clasping Dean on the shoulder. He leaned on him heavily as he spoke.

 

"The rings. Open the Cage." Dean wrapped an arm around Castiel's shoulders, supporting him, and pulled the Horsemen's rings out of his pocket with the other.

 

" _Odo oiad butomi ol oiad tabges ol oiad babalon._ " Dean tossed the rings to the ground, backing up quickly as a hole opened up in the ground. The Doctor flicked his wrist, tossing the fanny pack into the Cage in a smooth arc.

 

The Cage closed after accepting the item, and Sam picked up the rings. He stared at them for a moment before looking up at the Doctor.

 

"So that's it?" The Doctor nodded, grinning as he hugged Amy and Rory.

 

"Yup!" He pointed the sonic at Castiel, powering the angel up to a healthy capacity. Dean kept his arm wrapped around the angel, and Sam made a mental note to tease the shit out of him later.

 

"But... _how?_ " Jared asked.

 

"Oh, yes sorry! Didn't quite tell you the whole plan. Sorry about that, Jared, but we couldn't have Lucifer knowing we were going to send him down below too." The Doctor held up the sonic screwdriver, diving straight into an explanation.

 

"Michael couldn't detect us with Enochian sigils on our ribs, so Castiel carved it into all of us. I used the sonic to boost Castiel's power so we could exorcise Michael and Lucifer." Jared shook his head, confused.

 

"But they're archangels. You can't just _exorcise_ archangels!" The Doctor waggled a finger at the actor.

 

"Ah, but you see, they weren't in Sam and Dean's bodies. If they were in their intended vessels, it'd be pretty much impossible to remove them. The bond to the vessels was much weaker anyway, because the vessels weren't from their universe." The Doctor walked over to check on Melody - now River Song - gently smoothing back her hair.

 

"Michael burned up the rest of Melody's regenerations to increase his own power. I went to a dangerous level of power with Castiel, but with three of us chanting in Enochian we were able to exorcise them. It was a close one though, very close." Misha looked up as everybody turned to him, equally confused.

 

"You know _Enochian?_ " Sam asked skeptically, both at the Doctor and Misha.

 

"Of course I know Enochian! I helped invent it!" The Doctor grinned wickedly, continuing on before anybody could ask _who_ he'd helped invent it. "Remember when my TARDIS turned into a box?"

 

"Your TARDIS turned into a box? It is a box!" Amy was thoroughly lost.

 

"Oh, come on Pond, keep up! The toy screwdriver became the real deal?" The Doctor pulled out said screwdriver, scanning the unconscious Melody with it.

 

"Okay?" Jared said slowly. Misha's eyes widened.

 

" _I'm_ turning into an _angel?!_ " Castiel nodded grimly.

 

"Yes. That is why you can speak Enochian and see angels' true forms without burning your eyes out." Misha gaped, and the Doctor stood up.

 

"That's _also_ why we need to get you back to your universe in about," He glanced at the sonic. "9 and a half minutes. Best get going before you sprout wings."

 

"Hold on," Sam interrupted as Rory and Jensen converged on Melody to move her. "I thought you said Lucifer and Michael's battle at Stull was a fixed point in time. That it always had to happen at Stull. How are they going to fight if they're stuck in the Cage?"

 

The Doctor smiled kindly at Sam. "Rule 1 - the Doctor lies."

 

  


 

Amy sat next to the white hospital bed, eyes glazed over, unseeing. Her fingers threaded through thick curls of golden hair, pulling it apart and meshing it back together softly as her daughter slept peacefully.

 

"Amy," She returned to herself, looking up at her name. The Doctor stood in the doorway of Melody's room, sadness coloring his eyes. "It's time to go."

 

"But...we can't just _leave_ her here." Amy whispered, glancing back at Melody. "She's my daughter. She's _River Song_."

 

Rory edged into the room, walking over to his wife to wrap a comforting arm around her shoulders. The Doctor sighed, entering the room.

 

"We have to. She has to make her own way now." Tears rolled freely down Amy's cheeks at his words.

 

"Promise me she'll be okay." Amy looked up at the Timelord, determined. He smiled sadly.

 

"Sisters of the Infinite Schism; greatest hospital in the universe." Amy continued to stare at him, waiting for a real answer. The Doctor reached out, wrapping his hands over hers.

 

"You know who she grows up to be." The Doctor said slowly, maintaining eye contact. "She'll be brighter than the sun."

 

"Promise." Amy ordered, tears continuing to flow. The Doctor pulled her towards him, kissing her forehead.

 

"I promise."

 

Amy pulled away after a moment, nodding. She exchanged a look with Rory before looking back at Melody.

 

Amy leaned forward, kissing Melody's forehead tenderly. She froze for a long moment before silently standing up and leaving the room.

 

Rory stared at his daughter, face blank. His eyes refocused on the Doctor as he broke the silence.

 

"What about Madame Kovarian?" The Doctor met the Centurion's gaze, an unidentifiable edge creeping into his expression.

 

"She's still out there. She'll be back, make no mistake. We haven't seen the last of her."

 

Rory glanced back at Melody, gently reaching out to cup his daughter's cheek.

 

"No. She hasn't seen the last of _me_." Rory followed his wife, exiting the room quickly.

 

The Doctor slowly looked back to Melody, watching her for a long moment. Silently, he slipped a blue journal onto the nightstand beside her.

 

"Good luck, Sweetie." He strode out of the room without another word.

 

  


 

"DOCTOR!" Misha shouted, panicking. White light was ebbing around his fingertips, growing brighter with each passing second.

 

The Doctor jumped around the TARDIS console, pushing buttons and pulling levers as fast as he could.

 

Sam and Dean had corralled Jared, Jensen, Amy, and Rory a safe distance away from Misha while Castiel held the man's temples, chanting in Enochian.

 

" _Impamis oiad hchlph ol oiad ollog,  
Oiad vmd ol oiad gassagen oi alar.  
Oi conisbra obza nanta._ "

 

"Brace yourselves!" The Doctor yelled, pulling the last, green-lit lever. The TARDIS jerked wildly, rolling over in the time vortex.

 

Misha began to glow brighter, Castiel chanted louder, and the world turned blue.

 

And then, silence.

 

"Is everybody okay?" Sam asked, picking himself up from the metal floor. Jared and Jensen nodded, having landed in a tangled heap nearby. Amy and Rory called out their confirmation as they disengaged from their grip on the odd little chair by the console, and the Doctor was already bouncing about, checking readings on his sonic screwdriver.

 

"We are unharmed." Castiel answered, out of sight. Sam rounded the console, raising an eyebrow as Castiel and Misha entered his view.

 

Castiel was sitting on the ground, gripping Misha tightly around the chest. Misha sat in his lap, face entirely devoid of life.

 

"Uh...is he-" Castiel cut Sam off.

 

"I protected his head and spine from fatal injuries." The angel released the actor, who rolled off his lap with a dull thunk. Sam cocked his head to the side, watching as Misha simply lay there on the ground. Castiel looked at his double, seemingly unconcerned.

 

"The angel energy is gone. It will leave him slightly overwhelmed." Castiel turned his back to Sam, touching two fingers to Misha's forehead and beginning another Enochian incantation.

 

"Slightly?" Sam muttered.

 

"Wait, where's Dean?" Amy asked. Sam turned, searching the room for his brother.

 

"Down here." Sam leaned over the metal railing at the sound of his brother's voice. Dean was lying flat on his back on the ground, eyelashes fluttering.

 

"I fell." He muttered, and Sam's brow furrowed.

 

"Obviously. You okay?" Dean raised his hand, displaying thumbs up.

 

"Just peachy, Sammy." He groaned. "Fucking _peachy_."

 

"We made it!" The Doctor announced, bouncing to the wooden doors. He threw them open excitedly, sucking in a deep breath of English air.

 

"This is us." Jensen joked, throwing one of Misha's arms over his shoulder as Jared took the other. They carried him out of the TARDIS, out into the sunshine.

 

"You know, you could always come along with us." The Doctor suggested slyly. "I could have you back two minutes ago."

 

"Tempting but, we've got to get back. I expect Misha has a shitload of explaining to do." Jared laughed, shifting his co-star. Misha's head lolled to the side, limp.

 

"We'll be watching, Doctor." Jensen informed him ominously. Jared chuckled, and the Doctor nodded.

 

"Best not embarrass myself then." He reached out, offering a handshake. The actors accepted it.

 

"Take care of yourself." Jared ordered. The Doctor raised a mischievous eyebrow, smiling conspiratorially.

 

"Will do." He turned, heading back into the TARDIS. The rest of the passengers shouted their goodbyes as he closed the door.

 

The engines fired, and Jared and Jensen watched in quiet wonder as the blue box faded away to nothing.

 

  


 

" _Endings are false._

_Nothing ever ends - it never has and it never will. Somewhere in time, everything is happening. Always. It never stops._ "

 

"C'mon guys, we're going to be late!" Jensen tapped his foot impatiently against the concrete, glancing at his watch.

 

Jared carefully extracted himself from the taxi. A rumpled-looking Misha slid out behind him.

 

"Oh, look at that! You squished Misha!" Jensen berated, smoothing down his co-star.

 

"Sorry." Jared apologized, with a sheepish smile.

 

"Fat ass moose." Jensen muttered, quickly striding towards the building they had arrived at.

 

"Hey!" Jared called indignantly after him. Misha stifled a laugh. "I heard that!"

 

" _Jared, Jensen, and Misha's adventures never stopped. They watched every single season of Doctor Who since the 1960's together, holed up for hours at a time, and continued to film Season 6 of Supernatural._

_Their wives never bothered to question the familial bond that had developed between the boys after their vacation. They assumed Misha's boys weekend had been successful, that was all. The fans just used it to fuel their slash fiction._

_As for Victoria, well, she banished the memory of duplicate husbands from her mind. Pregnancy hormones, she claimed. Misha never corrected her._ "

 

"You know, throughout this whole thing, I haven't managed to catch your name." Dean leaned against the metal railing, eyeing the Doctor.

 

"The Doctor. Just the Doctor." He didn't look up from the TARDIS console screen.

 

"C'mon, you've got to have a name. Eugene? Percival? Something brainy." Sam rolled his eyes at his brother's stupidity. Amy shrugged.

 

"He hasn't told us either. You'll never get it out of him."

 

" _The Doctor's adventures never stopped, and neither did the Winchesters'. In fact, they traveled together for a while._

_It didn't last very long - Dean was never a domestic type. When the Doctor bounced into the control room toting Castiel in a pink apron with a platter of fresh cookies and tea in behind him, well, it got to be a little too much for the elder Winchester._ "

 

"Please save me from the monsters." The Doctor read, brow furrowing.

 

"Huh?" Amy asked.

 

" _According to an angel, these words,_ my words, _will be known as the Winchester Gospels._

_But I think that sounds too stiff. Nobody actually reads the Bible. I’d be willing to bet that most of the world can’t name more than five books of it anyway._

_So I’m retitling._ "

 

"Haven't done this in a while." The Doctor mused, examining the psychic paper.

 

" _The Adventures of Dean Winchester & Friends. I think that sounds about right.  
 _

_And they did have adventures. Pirates and Shape shifters, Daleks and Demons - they traveled the universe and saw it all._

_What's next for Dean and his friends, you might wonder? Well,_ "

 

"Done what? What are you doing?" Sam asked, slightly worried.

 

"Making a house call."

 

" _They're going to make a house call._ "

 

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRANSLATIONS:
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **The Doctor's Latin Prayer:**
> 
>  
> 
> Lucifer hic Doctor. Im 'certus vos meminisse me memini, sed vos. Nonne vos ante magna malabrutis! Usquam, Ive 'got a te propositum vestrum vas pertinent, ut si vos could iustus pop in liberout hic sit dilatare.
> 
> =
> 
> Lucifer, this is the Doctor. I'm not sure you remember me but I remember you. Aren't you a big bad boy? Anyway, I've got a proposition for you involving your vessel, so if you could just pop on over here that'd be swell.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **Enochian Angel Exorcism Chant:**
> 
>  
> 
> Olani argedco oiad nanaeel od gran ol oiad.  
> Olani argedco oiad nanaeel od gran ol oiad.  
> Hoath nanta,  
> Oi gassagen oe conisbra oiad.  
> Zamran oiad,  
> Zamran oiad,  
> Zamran oi bazm oiad baghie.
> 
> =
> 
> I invoke the power and authority of God.  
> I invoke the power and authority of God.  
> Worship earth,  
> this angel in service.  
> Lord reveal,  
> Lord reveal,  
> This day God temper.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **Enochian Cage Opening Prayer:**
> 
>  
> 
> Odo oiad butomi ol oiad tabges ol oiad babalon.
> 
> =
> 
> Open the mouth of the cave of the wicked.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **Castiel's Enochian Prayer for Misha:**
> 
>  
> 
> Impamis oiad hchlph ol oiad ollog,  
> Oiad vmd ol oiad gassagen oi alar.  
> Oi conisbra obza nanta.
> 
> =
> 
> End the change of the man,  
> The call of the angel is set.  
> His work is on earth.


End file.
